When I was speaking at CBA’s brilliant Women In Focus Conference this week I mentioned how important it is to shoot for Work Life Integration rather than Work Life Balance. Its such an important idea I’m going to write more about it.

Then I got this email from Kemi who heard me speak. She’s a coach, writer and all round beautiful person.

As a coach to women I support my clients to navigate this exact question, and have had success for them and my family by asking this one question, to the children.

So many parents suffer guilt worrying about the time that have away from their children, and stressing about the therapy bills they may have to pay in the future. Few people actually ask the children what they want. When I am going away for work I ask my children ‘What do you need from me before I go or after I get back?’ 

The answers are never, can you do every school pick-up, can you be at every meal, can you tuck me in every night.

Over the years the responses I have had have been “ Can we do craft onThursday afternoon?’ ‘Can we go on a mummy daughter date before you go.’ ‘Can I make my own patch in the garden.’

Asking our children what they actually want from us and then following through on their ask, releases parents from guilt and has the child know that they have been considered and what they want matters.

Such great advice! You can buy Kemi’s book here…