Tony hits on a range of key points over at HBR. This is a great insight:
So what’s the antidote to behaving reactively — and badly — when we feel under threat?
The first step is to become more aware of when your emotions begin to turn negative. That may mean noticing your heart beating faster, or tightness in your chest, jaw, or forehead.
The next step, when you sense you’re getting frustrated or anxious, is to apply "The Golden Rules of Triggers." It’s very simple: Whatever you feel compelled to do, don’t. Compulsions are not choices, and they rarely lead to positive outcomes.